So I believed.

I am
I am a target breaker
I am a long time dreamer
I won’t
I don’t want to drown
I am a girl with no demands
But I accept
My expectations
And I am not a deceiver
And you lie
And I’ll show you
Who’s the real hero
And I am
I am a Crusader
I am a learner
A mere beginner
Happiness Happens
ans as it happens
I’m hyperventilating
On days like these
I wave my flag
I am hero
On my own
No credits goes to you
Stop being an obstacle
Cause when I might fall
You might seem exhausted
But I promise myself
Not today
And not some other
I
I’ll keep my soul
Alive among the stars
So I respire
as you fly
So I believe while you instagrammed.

Say Something..

Originally posted on Rapture1973:

What would you want me to make of it? Or should I make something of it?
Should I just forget?

I know I were to blame. It was my idea. I admit that.

But what I thought would be awkward scenes turned out to be magical moments. Or were they? Did I just make up the lines and moves? Was it all a dream?

I could never believe we hit it off easily. It was as if I have known you for quite some time now. I was comfortable. It was magical.

But then, the magic faded and I am brought back to reality. I could only wish that I have the heart to take it all in. My mind knows what to do but my feelings are taking over me.

I wish you would say something. I wish you would tell me whether I should forget about it or…

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Doux Au Revoir..

Originally posted on Rapture1973:

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Such a cliche. 

No message for an hour.

Then I let my thoughts wander back to the time he brought me home.  He was dubious to grant me  a kiss. I just realized looking back that he seemed distant and I bet if he had a choice, he would not have obliged.

I have to know why.  

I checked if we still share connection.  Not anymore. That’s when I realized that something indeed has gone bad.  Without any second thoughts, I sent him messages and explained what happened.  Maybe one could even take my messages as a “please stay” note from my heart.  Typing each letter in the keypad was strenuous.  My fingers were locked, frigid and incessantly shaking. My heartbeat was pounding so fast and loud that I could literally hear its throbs.  Then his response. It was what I was dreading he would say.

I cried.  I cried. And I cried.

My heart was…

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Good at hiding it.

Originally posted on BeingBorderline:

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Over time I have learned to hide my feelings so well. I can be broken down but I can still pick myself up and carry on, not that I ever really wanted to. I  have had too.

Sometimes you can be screaming inside for someone to just care, but the only person you can trust is yourself, who else is gonna put up with me this way. I have often been called cold hearted but I’m really not I have learned to have that persona, I’m so fragile that the only way to be is strong, I don’t see it as being cold, it’s being strong and having the courage no matter what life throws at you to take it and even if it knocks you down pick yourself up and battle on. 

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Chasing the ( Love ) Dragon

Originally posted on penelopedreamweaver:

Are you a repeat offender ( of love ) ? Are you chasing the love dragon? There’s nothing to be ashamed of, we’ve all done it. I’ve done it, plenty. Honestly, more times than I’d like to admit.

I love, love. Unfortunately, even the lovers of love get it wrong from time to time…in fact, maybe more.

I’ve heard many a tale of lost love in my travels, mostly in bars and airports, where it seems lost love likes to hang out. I love stories of romantic triumphs but I also appreciate the knowledge we gain from the train wrecks.

I’ve always believed, sometimes, when you’ve tried everything else, the only thing you can do is throw everything up in the air and see where it lands. The universe will let the pieces fall where they need to, trust me.  I repeat, when you’re tired of chasing the dragon of love…

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The First Day Of The Rest of My Life

Originally posted on penelopedreamweaver:

Today is the first day of the rest of my life. 

I’ve known sadness but have also known true happiness.

I’ve climbed mountains but have also fallen from grace.

I’ve traveled and seen many wonderful places but I’ve also stood still and spent time with my inner demons.

I’ve walked alone but I’ve also held the hand of truly wonderful people.

I’ve known confusion but I’ve also found clarity in the place where confusion grows.

I’ve given life but have also been close to death.

I’ve held onto hope even through my darkest hours, when the odds were against me.

I’ve let go of the past and have embraced the future.

I’ve shed tears of sorrow but today my eyes fill with tears of joy.

I”ve searched for love and finally found it, within myself.

This is the first day of the rest of my life.

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First and the last I’d ever have.

I have never been close to what you’ve been
I have never been a disastrous summary
I am not the who hits and hate
I am not the kind of what you’ve been
Even today when our eyes meet
We change directions just to see
Your bleakness of ideas
And your not so happy moves
And tricks you play
And my-ex dearest girlfriend
You don’t mean a thing to me today
A touch of regret moves me
When I see your future as dark as shady
You believe in the not so brightful things
And today this day last year
We were us
This year this day
I no more want to see your face
<3 You were the first and the last I'd ever have.

My first attempt to Stay.

This is our first staircase memory
I’d like to call it merely a scenery
You were
You were going down
Taking steps at a time
I was
I am
I am a liar on this side
And then what happened
Is never going to happen again
And darlin’ how it happened
it took my breathe away
I could rarely recall your face
I couldn’t spell my name
And you’re my little infinity
And this is the last year
I’ll meet you before you greet me
Before circumstances change,
I yelled your name
Slang
I yelled your name
Blush
Am I supposed to stay
No
But we’re liars on the same…
Strand <3
And I don't even know did you look up
And said hello
But yours eyes meet mine and stars collide <3
And I don't even know
If I am supposed to stay
This is how I put down
My first attempt to stay
But your name sounds perfect when I recall it
This is nothing more that my first attempt to stay
Being right there
next to you
Is an idea I sold
Before I knew you
You are a perfect nonchalant smile
Let me call it <3
And how I yelled your name
And how I ran fast
Faster than how
How your name must have travelled to your ears
This was my first attempt to stay <3

My ex-dearest girlfriend

We met last year
we were totally same
We used to talk
and giggled time away
How you used to speak
And how I perceived
I radiated smile
You were my first sunshine
I thought this would last
I forgot we were not forever
A disaster I am
I fell for you easily
And I am confessing
you were my first,
And the last, I’ll have
I understand, priorities change
And you don’t stand on my list anymore
A year after
I look on us
We were a perfect mismatch
It is no more trust
You go there with that girl
You don’t understand
You like to state things wrong-ly
And I don’t even care
Am I supposed to be scared
I have my best pair of wings
I am not an angel for you on Earth
You were my first,
And the last, I had
Now what I know,
You’ll sit there,
Rant about the things that hardly matters
You were mine,
And I was lost,
You were my sunshine,
I was your brightlight
you ignited me with brightest sparks,
You were my first,
And the last, I’ll ever have
This poem was dedicated to what went by
Not time, no emotions
Can bring back us,
And I’m happy that I have faith in the brighter side of lucky,
NOw when I see,
You are like this ordinary dusty piece
You never had a lust for the heart of mine
You criticise and now you’re coming undone
NO more good health
I worried for my, my, my ex- dearest girlfriend
But all what you’ve been is
My first
and the last I’ll ever have
I don’t even know
How this scene continues
I loved your smell
And now your eyes are not even tolerable
So I just shut mine
Your existence counts,
So I walk by
You’ve been my
My first
And the last I ever had.
<3 I loved you like a dreamer and you made me wake-up like Cindrella.
I am my sunshine. You were the last, and the first I ever had.

I have never been given flowers

Originally posted on akerwood:

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I have never had a consistent group of friends. Ever. I think they have changed each year since I started school. I’ve always been the outsider, desperate for attention. I’m the ugly one, the needy one, the pathetic one. I can remember back when I was in infant school and I had to go to an after-school club until my parents picked me up. I went almost every day and there was this group of girls that i tried to be friends with. I was fucking five years old all i wanted was someone to play with. Well obviously they didnt want me to play with them or whatever so i was always by myself. One day they didn’t want another girl to play with them and they said ‘go play with her (me)’ the girl just looked at me and was like ew no. It’s not that bad i know…

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