And I realised we can not run away.
I realised we could change ourselves, cut relations, be someone we are not, change our names, change our beliefs, renovate our rooms, change numbers, not reply to texts, not pick up phone calls, make friends with disgusting interests, run to places, change our hobbies, work crazy hours, and be everything we would never want to.
But one day, one random day when you’ll be somewhere beautiful or dingy. Everything will fall. No amount of science or fiction would help you. Tears will roll down. Emotions will outburst. Thoughts will overflow. Legs will be numb.The history will seem significant.Those who you left behind will enter your thoughts. All memories will wave in front of your eyes. You’ll have a break down.
I have had my share of runaways most were failures. I realised today why they were that way. Humans do not grow in isolation. History doesn’t confide itself to the boundaries of yesterday. I grew with the belief that new places could offer newness that would be able to cover up the history of a man. This belief of mine was completely wrong. Oh! So wrong. We dream of the tomorrows far away from the enigmas of our present moments. We are silly. Accepting the now- leads us forward. All unfinished business shows up in the future like a burning star igniting the path we are to walk upon. There is no tomorrow, there is no new, there is no next if the yesterday is a dead secret not accepted.
The past haunts you, it revisits you, it tortures you, it takes revenge. NO. Absolutely wrong. The past leaves its scars- it is our memory that plays tricks with us, we are no one if our identity is a question mark.
Let your past be a part of your present, do not run away. Embrace the people you have lived with. Acknowledge your shortcomings. Pay respect to your backgrounds. The now may seem a chaos- it will always seem like that. The now-may seem ugly-it will always be in bad shape. But than running away take control, sit down do not run. Do not be overtaken by the forces which might lure you into thinking escaping is the option. Our past rewards us with our identity. The people who we knew are deeply necessary. Do not be who you should not chose to be.
Let yourself be a complete person than a changed identity.