let me fill you

i should have told him i loved him before going back home in auto.

but i hope he knows – i am in love with him. 

i hope you know i have days when i wish to die.(i think you do now) i am not as strong as you think/or my mother believes. i am adamant, rude and weird. eventhough i always take leaderships on decisions i should not, i am not okay enough.  i just  like steering the tyres of my life. but i am not the pillar you vouch for. but i am trying.

lately i have started recognising the smell of your different perfumes, and their effects on me. ahh. i like the way we hold hands, like there’s understanding between our hands that only they know. they jam in to have their own sweet moments. my fragile painted thin fingers crisscossed in your comforting clear hands. i think your grip is the boldest and strongest – they have the power to revive every broken conversation and bumps in roads.

it was fun running across roads with you. it was thriling kissing you on the bench as the cars passed by. it was sweet of you to make a snap of me eating an eclair(that was my first). it is interesting looking right into your eyes – like i am about to strip your clothes away and kiss you. it is empowering the way you call me yours. it is adventurous clicking your photographs in places. it is nice chasing you. it is attractive pampering you. it is hillarious walking on the road with you discussing about the most intense subjects.(sex) it is religious when you sit me down and talk to me about your deepest experiences in life. (my honey never turned salty, but i cry often and my teardrops are not rose sweet). i love following your every advice like a new fashion trend. i listen to your words with way more concentration than to my lectures in uni. i hate it when we’re together and our lips have nothing to talk about. i sometimes look at your eyes and they refuse to tell me what hurts you. and i am sorry for making you cry. and i know you’re sorry too. and i hope with hope you’ll always want to be mine after every worse fight. (change this maybe – maybe?)

i don’t know – how it will be tomorrow or the day after. but maybe today – i loved you better. i hope to love you till i die.

i am blessed to have you.(had to replace my thankyous 🙉).

Honey. I. Love. You.