ha. so here you are. hi there.
you made a choice to read this post, because as much as i am enthused – you too want to learn the “art of dealing with people“. i mean, who doesn’t right.
reasons why i’d recommend you to read this:
- if youve ever felt the desire to kickout a person out of your life
- if youve ever felt suffocated in the presence of people/ or a person
- if you in general want to learn this skill
- if you want to learn how to live life – the human way
“Man is by nature a social animal; an individual who is unsocial naturally and not accidentally is either beneath our notice or more than human. Society is something that precedes the individual. Anyone who either cannot lead the common life or is so self-sufficient as not to need to, and therefore does not partake of society, is either a beast or a god. ” ―
what inspired me to write this post, my dad told me this the other day “that humans cannot live in isolation, we cannot be superhumans and tend to all our needs all by ourselves, and therefore we must learn this subject”.
disclaimer: every point mentioned in here will be a tried and tested trick or skill – and with each i will add in my experience. feel free to giggle, cry and learn with me. let’s go shall we? (In your mind **finally the kinda post i was looking for man, it is here, universe saved me, it did).
Point 1: Distance Yourself.
How to do it?
Find yourself another set of friends. Immerse yourself in nexus of relations. (a handful of bestfriends, a list full of friends, and a room full of people to talk to, thanks papa.). find yourself you own safe space. start by defining your boundaries and nourishing your forest of habits. become selfish, fend for your ownself, for your interests in activities and priorities in life. but remember you dont have to come out as a rude narcissist – rather a person who cares about themselves before anyone else. now if you have started to worry about how people will perceive you. now it is 2019 and you cannot serve your tea to everyone because not every- body sips on tea no more. point to pay attention to now ofcourse i am not telling you to cut ties with a scissor/or blade/ or saw, stretch the strings longer, make these strings flexible in nature, get yourself back in your comfort zone. and allow this relation/relations to breather. do not shun people out because you never know when and where you might need that exact person again with desperate need. now exception to this rule will be the toxic peeople – again everyone has their own flavours to the definition of this. but if the person is toxic, like malignant tumors (in medical terms) in human body, take yourself away from the person – far enough that their activities do not effect your mindbody. i know thoughts are revolting in your head, and you already have a list of people you’d love to ditch. (AND I HAVE BEEN THERE, all this time). but, ditching people does not make you any better or greater or happier. it doesnt give you satisfaction or contentment. it provides you with guilt and hesitation. i want you to analyse your actions, always think about your own peace of mind firstly, then go protect your friend/lover/ neighbour/ ex/ ex-ex/ex-ex-ex. learn to say no when you do not have time to serve your time on their table but do this with kindness and confidence. arrogance will only start a cold – cold war,and i know you are no John Snow!
How does it effect?
you will feel better instantly. (alert. alert. tried and tested.) Question, will the other person figure out this change. ummmm lets just say they will – faster than you’d want them to. now how do you take care of that, here is when you have to act smart and not let them play the victim. the trick is that you have to do all of this using your own resources, back up plans and tricks. use love to distance yourself. do not use anger/ hatred/ ego to do this, i know how that narrative goes (been there and cried). use your resources, the trick is to distance yourself but not cutting the connections with them. like you dont have to be the primary key in their table, but you still have to be the foreign key. (you get me?) let me explain – you still have to make them want you/ wait for you, but this time you will own just as much power in this relation as much they have had. you will do all of this being comfortable not feeling triggered at all. and that is how you feel comfortable and beautiful. you still have to be resouceful to them. you still have to talk to them, and sometimes show sympathy/ empathy (all genuinely). you do not have to degrade your moral systems to get rid from them. naturally the strings will lengthen and you will feel more comfortable, and they will eventually fall in the pit they should lay in. but if you ever use irritation or irrational behaviour here, you will face defeat. do eveything you do with love and you will do just fine.
Until Next Time,