validation from external sources?

it felt like i was forcing myself to do some activities (let’s say x,y,z,z1). forced by excitement, by the end result, like the journey wasnt worthy enough to be lived or cared about, i was not enjoying.

2a02538ba9cc407b7089e83d5ca0ceb6

i kept looking outward for validation from external forces to prove my authenticity and creativity which should not have been the case. i should be able to do whatever i want – whenever i want – how much ever of what i want – but somehow it felt like a tied game – like all of my relationships revolved around this focus. like everything else was mere rocks. and anything that did not fit in the radii of this fell apart like my relationships.

right now from where i am in life i know, i have this input of energy and enthu flowing in my blood ready to burst out. i have always had this creative side to me, i have always felt more alive and fuller whenever i truly wrote or hand crafted art. the power of chosing and the power to create has always been my skill. and today – i want to do a better job at it.

2e139b8c151eeccf83d4aa926e4f4519last evening i told myself – nish,Ā “create but do not let your work out before it complete its completion time. make people want it – create a demand for it.” make people truly yours. finding my niche was a big question for me? and now i know, i am an artist who likes to take her life and write it in 3rd person as lessons. thats my niche – Ā confessional experiential knowledge. like confessional art. something so close to me, yet so powerful to create or change someones life. and this is how i want to run things from now.

 

now. there it is something that i felt in the gym last evening. and i hope you liked it.

heres to something new and refreshing.

Until next time,
Goobye.
Nishita Agarwal. šŸ™‹ā€ā™€ļø


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